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What kind of ridiculous beings are we that the phrase “I slept wrong and hurt my back” is a thing and that it’s fairly common to hear. Eating, sleeping, excreting; that’s what living things do, and we’re even getting that wrong. Ugh.

V has her first field trip today.

Just… whoa. She’s a big kid now who big kid things. They’re going to a farm to do all sorts of fall type stuff. Hay ride, seeing how cider is made, I think decorating sugar pumpkins. She’s been so excited and going to have tons of fun.

Who am I? This office worker (who literally said, “I have to leave early for work; there’s going to be a video conference with the head of the company” last week). This 30 year old who reunited with and married her high school sweetheart. This mom of a 5 year old going on her first school field trip. This homeowner with a dead dad and a disowned mom.

Not the person I thought I would be 10 years ago, when I was still a theater major in community college, dating a string of guys who are either sweet but stupid or smart and manipulative. The girl who was adamant that she would never have kids. The girl working in the supermarket where people (including my brother) frequently got stuck as a career and where I quietly assumed I would end up.

I feel like I’ve spent the last year, or more, watching an invisible set of scales shift nonstop to this bizarre balance. It’s not a bad place to be, at all. Unexpected. Sometimes sad. Inevitably comfortable. It’s all mine.

Sometimes I wonder if I must appear shallow or boring here seeing as how I never discuss Big Topics. I have my reasons why I don’t.

  • I don’t know/understand enough about the subject to form a well thought out opinion.
  • The topic may be talked to death and I just have nothing new to add.
  • Consideration for followers who may be hurt by my sometimes harsh thought process. Yes, it’s my blog, and I’m allowed to have my opinions. Sometimes I just don’t know how to express them in a non-dickish way, so I keep it to myself.
  • It may hurt too much to talk about.
  • I hate teal deering, but I don’t always know how to summarize myself, so I just don’t bother trying.
  • Probably most relevant: Others have usually said it better.

I’ve caught V’s cold and tonight is our first night going live on the phones at my new job. I’ve taken some non-drowsy Sudafed and Mucinex, and I plan on mainlining tea for the rest of the day. Between working in Mass. making my accent pop out and being congested here’s hoping I sound intelligible on the phone.

Tomorrow is my first evening of training at my new job. I have a week and a half of 6pm-11pm training shifts, then a couple days off to regulate to my set schedule, then I’ll be a creature of the night.

We (I) explained my new night shift schedule to Violet (who’s 5) by telling her that my new job is going to make me nocturnal. She’s learned about how bats and owls and other things are nocturnal from school and tv.

Yesterday, V had a birthday party to go to while both SwaggeringCad and I were scheduled to work (me at my old job), so SC’s mom was going to take her. When I was leaving for work and telling her “Goodbye, I love you, be good, have fun.” V said, “I will, and if any of my friends ask why my mom isn’t with me, I’m going to say it’s because she’s nocturnal!” Not yet, sweetie.

The tattoo of a bat on my back is feeling more appropriate than ever.

I got the job!!!

After I got out of the interview, I drove straight to the drug testing diagnostic center and sent my husband a text. Went in, did my thing. As soon as I left that building, I called work to let them know since I really have been keeping them updated every step of the way.

My asst dept manager (the one who’s been wishing me to fail) answered my call.

Me: “I got the job!”

Him: *flat-voiced and grumpy* “Oh. Well you need to talk to J (the store manager) and give him your 2 weeks notice.” Pause “Or whatever you’re doing…”

Me: “Is he there today?”

Him: “Yeah, but you need to come in. You’re coming in today right?”

I wasn’t on the schedule today. I had an hour round trip north to the interview (yeah, I know that isn’t really that much, but you can cross the entire state in an hour, so it just tends to feel far) and it will be another hour round trip south to go to  my old work. SC has class and won’t get out until 15 minutes before it’s time to pick up V from her school and I wanted to go home and type up an official letter of resignation. So heading straight down wasn’t really an option, but I’ve promised this whole time that I would keep everyone up to speed on everything.

* I want full time I want full time I want full time X 2 1/2 years

* I’m job hunting

* I have an interview in a week, if I get the job, I’ll only be able to put in 12 days’ notice before I have to start training.

* My interview is tomorrow.

* I just got out of my interview and did well. I have a second interview in a week.The interview couldn’t promise me the job, but said she “can’t see any reason the other interviewer wouldn’t be impressed” with me. If I get the job, I’ll only be able to officially give 6 days’ notice, but it looks like I have the job.

* I have my second interview tomorrow, I’ll call you as soon as I know anything.

* I just got finished with my drug test. I got the job.

I feel that, under the circumstances, I did the best I could to not screw anyone over. I’m not going to give up 40 hours a week, base pay plus commission with other incentives, with full benefits after 90 days, for a company that hasn’t listened to me say that I want do to more for them with no results for 2 1/2 years. It’s entirely possible that I could be making more money per hour than my asst dept manager within the next 3 months.

Yet, somehow, this little jerk has gotten into my head and made me feel guilty. I will not let him know that. He would exploit it for all it’s worth. Even if I give him nothing to work with, he’ll try.


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